One week

I seriously cannot believe Brayden is a week old already! He's in my arms right now, content but hiccuping (and making this really hard to type). I took this picture earlier today on my cell phone, so it isn't the best quality but I thought it was so cute. I just wanted to document some of our first week together so I never forget it:

-He still doesn't seem like a big baby to me- except for his hands (as you can tell in the picture).

-He is definitely arm-apoiled. He has never fallen asleep actually in his crib. He has once or twice in our bed with one or both of us next to him and in his car seat/stroller on walks, but mostly he falls asleep while being fed or being held.

-He's already peed on me- once while I was changing him and once it leaked out of his diaper while I was feeding him onto my leg. My friend says I'm still not fully inducted into motherhood until he pees on my face though. :) He has also wet the bed already- he soaked through his diaper while on our bed.

-He doesn't really sleep in his bassinet- so I guess it was a waste of money. He usually spend the first 3/4ths of the night in his crib (minus feedings), but usually ends up in our bed after I feed him between 3-6 am. It's weird because I really thought he would sleep in the bassinet next to my side of the bed, and I definitely didn't think I would do any co-sleeping. It's nice to have him so close though.

-We have said something to the tune of "He's adorable" and "I love you, Brayden" and "I'm so happy he's here" about a million times in the last week! And it is so true- it has only been a week but he's my whole life already!

Brayden Michael Bishop

Brayden Michael Bishop was born July 2nd, at 5:05 pm. He is 19 inches long and weighs 9 lbs 14 oz. And both Adam and I are completely in love with him!

I woke up that morning around 3 am with contractions. I had been having contractions, as well as some pre-labor signs for a few days, but these were different. Everyone told me I would know when it was real, when I was really in labor, and they were right. I could tell that they were getting both stronger and closer together. I alternated sitting on my "birth ball" (just an exercise ball) and getting things finished up around the house like dishes and my hospital bag. I woke Adam up around 5:30 and then called my midwife about an hour later. She told me to head to the hospital around 7:30 or 8:00. When we got there, she was there already (she delivered 3 babies that day!) and she checked me. I was dilated to a 5. She had me walk the halls as much as I could (which wasn't very much because of the contractions). I kept having to stop walking wherever I was, and lean against Adam or the wall through my contractions. Eventually she broke my waters. It got worse after that. The babe was face first, which led to some really intense back labor. The tub helped somewhat, but not as much as I had hoped. At one point, I was SO ready to beg for an epidural. My midwife was seeing patients at her office across the street at the time, though... which I am thankful for now. I'm also so grateful for Adam, my mom and my sister. Everytime I begged for one, they reassured me that this was what I wanted and that I could do it. Once my midwife got back, she was with me the rest of the time. She made me do some really uncomfortable things to try to get the baby to turn, but he didn't until I was pushing. I think I pushed for about an hour, although I am not sure. The room was pretty dim. I kept looking at the clock in between pushes, but couldn't see the time. It sure felt like forever. I really felt like I must be doing something wrong, like it was taking too long. His heartrate went a little low at some point, so they put oxygen on me. Finally, she told me to reach down and feel his head. After that, it was probably only 10 more minutes to get his whole head and then his body out. When she told me to reach down and take my baby, I just could not believe I was done. Her and the nurse immediately started wiping him off while I was holding him, and they went on and on about how big he was. After I held him for a few minutes, they took him to weigh him. And then Adam got to hold him for a little bit while my midwife finished with me, and then I got to feed him.

The rest of my stay had its ups and downs. There were some great nurses, and there were some terrible ones. There were some things done that I didn't want done, but people kept pressuring me and telling me it needed to be done. By the time Saturday morning came along, I was more than ready to go home and be in charge of my own baby and his care. And now that we are home, I am loving it! I get nervous that I am doing things wrong, or not well enough, but I am slowly learning to trust myself. We both stop and just randomly say things to each other like "We are so lucky!" or "He is so perfect."

Lunatic

I have to say- the last couple days have made me feel like a lunatic! I keep thinking that labor might actually be starting... and it doesn't. I start to worry about when I last felt the baby move... and then he moves (thank goodness). I keep "noticing" things that are possibly bad signs... and google it, which only worries me more. Then luckily I call my friend Kimberly, a doula and a "birth veteran" (my term) and feel a little bit better. I worry about when to call my midwife... it just never ends! Please reassure me I am just being a typical, worrisome, clueless first-time birher!

Lifelong Learning

As most of you have probably seen, there are many "Top 5" lists going around on Facebook- top 5 celebrity crushes, top 5 movies, etc. Well, my boss did one that really made me think, so I decided to do it. It was "Top 5 things I'd go back to school to study if money and time were no object." While I loved studying English Literature, I decided on other subjects.

The first one was gender studies. I took a gender studies class last fall and LOVED it. Of course, it was called a GS class but it was so much more. We also looked at race and class among other things. I have been amazed how much of it I have been able to apply to other things. Such as my pregnancy, for example. Until the 20th century, birth was solely a female affair. While I am glad aspects of that have changed (husbands being allowed in the room), I have come to believe that many male doctors are allowing women to lose faith in themselves and in their innately female ability to give birth. Anyways...

The next subject I picked was political studies. I just got so interested in politics this last presidental election. And that interest has not abated yet.

For obvious reasons, the fourth and fifth subjects I picked were child development and midwifery. I have really enjoyed experiencing the process of pregnancy and would love to help others through it, and I would love to learn about child development to aid in being a good parent.

The third subject I chose was civil rights in America. Luckily, as with many topics, I do not have to return to school to learn about this. In fact, I've already started. About a month ago, I started losing interest in books. I would start them but not be able to get more than 10 pages in. I'm sure some of it was just taking a break because of being finally done with school. The rest of it was preoccupation with all the things going on in my life- moving and preparing for the baby. Well, I was at work checking in one day and I checked in a book called Why We Can't Wait by Martin Luther King, Jr. It was on hold for someone, so I couldn't check it out then. I put it on hold myself and got it last week. Oh my gosh...his eloquence and power with words will NEVER cease to astound me. The book is specifically about the summer of 1963 and all the demonstrations that took place in Birmingham, Alabama. I have a hard time believing he accomplished so much good in his short life, and I just have to wonder how much more he could have done had his life not been ended prematurely. It was sad to see how much of what he wrote in that book could still be true today. This was one of my favorite quotes:

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial “outside agitator” idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.” (65)

I also enjoyed the story he shared of a cook during the bus boycotts: "During the Montgomery bus boycott, a white family summoned their Negro cook and asked her if she supported the terrible things the Negroes were doing, boycotting buses and demanding jobs. "Oh no, ma'am, I won't have anything to do with that boycott thing," the cook said. "I am just going to stay away from the buses as long as that trouble is going on." No doubt she left a satisfied audience. But as she walked home from her job, on feet already weary from a full day's work, she walked proudly, knowing that she was marching with a movement that would bring into being nonsegregated bus travel in Montgomery." (14-15)

I'm glad I actually finished a book in June that was not related to pregnancy or birth, and I'm glad I took advantage of the opportunity to learn. Schools and teachers are amazing, but so are books and the internet.

Baby Bishop's Room

Now...we probably won't decide on his name for sure until after he is born, but at least his room is finished and ready for whenever (hopefully soon) he decides to make his arrival. Here are some pictures:

Showered

My post title works in two ways.

First off, I know others are complaining about the rain and wishing for more summer-like weather. Not me! It's been nice to have cooler temperatures during these last few weeks.

Secondly, had two amazing showers thrown for me this weekend. On Friday, my work had a shower for me after we closed the library. M work has been so accomadating. This last week was my last full week. I'll be working as I wish up until the birth, but at most two days a week. I'm so grateful to my co-workers for being so kind, and I am extremely thankful for how well things have worked out with insurance and taking my leave. On Saturday, my Mom and my sister threw a shower for me. They worked so hard on it. They've been amazingly supportive my whole pregnancy. It was so nice to see so many of my family and friends.

Now that the two straight weekends of childbirth classes and showers are over, I can finally get the baby's room together, as well as everything else I need to do such as finishing up my birth plan, installing the car seat, packing for the hospital, and maybe even finally deciding on a name! especially since my midwife says there is a chance (not sharing the reasoning behind it-TMI) I could have him in June, which would be a week early. I'm trying to not get too excited, because I could of course still go past my due date, but it would be nice to have him a little early.

Flashback to the 90s

Totally awesome! No, seriously, this was so fun to watch. I especially loved the "time outs" and the huge cell phone. And of course the clothes! I swear...this show took up my afternoons more times than I could count.